Coastwatcher

Must Reading for Caribbean Travelers

Coastwatcher

Attention to Travelers!

Know what to expect when you arrive at your ports-of-call. Enter a world that you have become aware of by reading about the smart things to know before you get there.

You can order an e-book for instant delivery by clicking on: http://www.booklocker.com/books/1882.html

The newest book about the Caribbean is on sale there. The title is:

Coastwatcher  Tales of the Western Caribbean

An accumulation of everyday real life experiences in paradise

The Author is Pierre Renaldo, who has written more serious books about building and retiring on third world islands. It is information you need to know before you venture.

Go to www.Booklocker.com for

How to Avoid the Pitfalls: Building Your Dream Home

How to Build Your Dream Home in a Third world Paradise

How to Survive in Third World Retirement: The Handbook

These books are all available at Booklocker as e-books for a very modest price.

"You'll be glad you did."

Coastwatcher is a very funny book. It will entertain you on your journey to the Caribbean, and give you much insight as to what life in these places is really like, not just a flowery verse about how charmed you will be when you arrive at these romantic destinations. The cultural shock is almost too much for some people, but once you lean how to see through the rosy fog, you will enjoy your visit.

The book is available in print also, for a slightly higher price than the e-book. Considering the wealth of information you will receive it is well worth the expenditure.

Stick with me for more valuable information.

I have much more to tell you!

Ciao,

Louie Arriba

HeyMon, Need a Taxi?

Coastwatcher ©

March 26, 2005

Hey Mon, Need a Taxi?

          Here we go again, the time of year when cruise ship holidays begin in earnest. It is a favored time of year for many not-so-adventurous travelers to venture into new worlds, places that have intrigued them for years; those far horizons beckoning, the snow white beaches and the crystalline, aquamarine seas of serenity await the hordes of shut-ins, determined to escape the boredom of winter in the most isolated reaches of the frozen north.

          The seas have calmed from the winter storms, the trade winds refresh the weary brow, and the dreadful hurricane season is still many weeks away.

         Perhaps this does not describe your personal plight, but having experienced the cabin fever of the northern hemisphere winters, I can personally relate to your eagerness to fly away, to explore the heretofore unknown places in the paradise of the Caribbean. Yes! I have read the same travel brochures as you have and I too, have become a believer. It is true! There is a place for you, secret, pristine, waiting.

         This year you will find your home in the sun, undiscovered by others, a quiet cove where you can spread your wings and commune with the elements, go back to your very origins in the universe.

         But alas and anon, you have yet to meet your true fate. It (or rather he) awaits your arrival. It (or rather he) has wondrous secrets to share with only you, for your ears only. He is standing there as your feet touch the pier, smiling, friendly, and all knowing. He is going to be your new friend, the first and most gracious comrade in this strange new land. He is your guide and mentor, your own personal taxi driver who will do all in his great power to make your visit memorable.

         This is where the fleecing may begin.

         Here is a probable scenario to keep you in the realms of reality, while you are being wooed by this masterful scam artist with a third grade education. (Yes, I know you have been warned on board, but read and retain the following.)

          You already know the exchange rate of the local currency, and you have your handy-dandy little pocket calculator ready. You are confident that this wonderful, newly self-proclaimed chum, will not be able to outsmart you, because you are prepared.       

          Besides, you have some fellow shipmates with you; there is strength in numbers, no? ‘Our collective brainpower will prevail in this place,’ you say to yourself. And as spokesperson for the group, you venture a question, “How much will you charges me to have a good tour of the island, including some of the best beaches?”

        “For you mon, four thousand Lempiras,” is his reply. A quick calculation confirms that 4000 Lempiras is equivalent to $20.

       “Okay,” is your reply. “Do you have air conditioning, good brakes and tires?”

       “My air conditioner is out of Freon at the moment, but we will be going up to the highlands, where the breezes will keep you cool. And I have just recently had my taxi inspected by the police. Everything is very fine, mon. Would I lie to you?”

        Two hours later you arrive back at the cruise ship pier, and your tour-guide-pal opens the door, holds out his hand and states, “That will be twelve hundred Lempiras, or $60. dollars, mon.”

         You are thrown off balance. “What?” you ask, bewildered by this unpleasant news. “You quoted me the equivalent of $20.”

        “Yes, of course. And that is what I am charging you. There are three persons no? And, three times twenty = sixty, right?”   

         So, my friends, where do you go from here? Strangers in a foreign land and certainly the local constabulary or civil judge will look dimly on your attempt to scam this poor hardworking taxi driver out of the food he was going to put on the table for his hungry children.

        Moral of the story: Beware of taxi drivers who know their multiplication tables! 

Always confirm what the quoted price includes, the number of people etc.

See? You thought you had it all down pat. But that’s why you have me to ask. Stick around; I have lots more to tell you!

Ciao

Louie Arriba

   

Kid Stuff in the Caribbean

Coastwatcher ©

March 22, 2005

Kid Stuff in the Caribbean

          Whenever I went traveling in Central America, Costa Rica, in particular and I needed an interpreter, I looked around for the little kids who seemed the most likely students. Most of the elementary schools in Costa Rica teach English as a second language, and more often then not, the little guys came through, albeit somewhat reluctantly. They rarely had an opportunity to speak the language conversationally, uttering mere phrases and words in the classroom. A little coaxing in the form of a dollar bill was often enough to loosen a shy tongue and we received the information we were seeking.

Now a warning: In many places in the third world, these innocents can be a very real problem to travelers. Remember, you are in the world of the “have nots” and you should keep that thought in the back of your mind, maintaining a subliminal vigilance in you head at all times. Now I’ll tell you the reason I caution you.

Many societies in the third world practice theft and deception, as a matter of survival. Children are taught that stealing and cheating are acceptable practices, as long as they do not perform this art on their immediate family.

The most common form of extracting money/valuables is accomplished in the places most likely to be inhabited by unwary foreign travelers. Here are the of the most likely areas/spaces where tourists get ripped off:

Cruise Ship terminals, or docking areas.

Airport baggage claim areas, especially the outdoor variety

Public markets.

Taxis.

Crowded streets where vendors are offering their wares.

Checkout lines in supermarkets.

Any other crowded conditions, such as street bazaars, that offer confusion and diversion, and easy escape routes for the little nippers.

Many are begging for “just one dollar.” Do not give them anything! You will just show some onlooker where you keep your money. Others are waiting for the opportunity to snatch and run away with your flashy gold earring (with your earlobe still attached) or necklace, a purse, a camera, or the contents of your backpack, with a practiced hand that slits it open like a hot knife into butter. They are so adept at this maneuver that most touristas don’t even know they have been robbed, until they open their pack to get something out, only to find it empty.

I have had children admit to me, that their mama told them not to come home unless they brought some money or valuables.

I have saved the “taxi scam” for another column, which I will publish soon.

Stick around for more very necessary travel information

Ciao,

Louie Arriba

Don't Get Gringoed

Coastwatcher ©

                                                                                                           March 20, 2005

DON’T GET GRINGOED

(or otherwise scammed by any other name)

How would you like to be able to communicate with the locals of any foreign country even if you do not speak the language???????

There is a very simple method with which you can accomplish just that.  Q.) WHAT IS IT?

The investment is very small, and I am not selling the item you need to purchase. Unless you already have one have one you are willing to lose in your travels.

There is only one requirement which you must involve yourself with, and that one costs nothing.

That is the current exchange rate of the currency used in the place to which you are headed.

Example: Honduras Lempira Abbreviated as LPS

1$ U.S. = LPS 19.51600

Or

1 LPS = 0.5124/.05124 cents

Get it? One Lempira is equal to a little over a nickel of American money!

Want to guess the answer?

Q.) WHAT IS THE ITEM TO TAKE WITH YOU THAT SPEAKS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE???????

I’ll give you some multiple choices:

a) Carry a Spanish American dictionary

b) Carry a French American dictionary

c) Carry an electronic universal language converter

d) All the above

e) Other

Give up?

Answer: A handy dandy little pocket calculator. Simple no?

And the little bit of personal involvement by the party of the first part. (That’s you.)

Know the current exchange rate of the currency of the country (ies) to which you are traveling. It’s a good idea to know well in advance so you can practice your conversions before you get there.

Stick around and I’ll give you lots of other answers to questions you haven’t even though of yet!

Ciao,

Louie Arriba

Don'ts for thrid world travel

Coastwatcher

March 15,2005

Louie Arriba

• Things not to take on your trip to the Caribbean and Central America

Here we are at that frantic time of year when everybody with itchy feet absolutely must go someplace new and exciting.

Those who wait until the last moment are apt to land in some places they never dreamed they would visit, while others have been planning all winter.

Whether you are going by sea or air, remember it is a very different world out there in the blue Caribbean or the wondrous rainforests of Central America. Third world to be exact, and a world of very little opportunity for those unfortunate enough to have to live in those places many of us think of as paradise.

You will be living your dream and the locals will be living their nightmare, living the hand to mouth existence that exists just out of your vision. For them it is a world of nothing, unless they can make a good score as a result of your visit.

You may be an unwilling benefactor, if you tempt fate by carrying and or wearing any of the following:

Gold earrings or necklaces.

Expensive wrist watches or bracelets.

Camera equipment hanging from you arms and neck.

Backpacks to carry you cameras and wallet or purse.

Those are just a few items that are sure to attract trouble like honey attracts bees.

Stick around for many more important facts for the astute traveler.

Check out this book for the real lowdown:

How to Survive in Third World Retirement: The Handbook Review it at:

http://www.roatanet.com/pierre/ebooks.htm

Ciao,

Louie Arriba

Coastwatcher ©

Article 3

Cruise Ships and Far Too Many Taxis

Louie Arriba

Every time a cruise ship pulls up to our wonderful enlarged public pier, I cringe. Having to drive through that melee`is an experience I could do without, and I could especially do without all those confounded taxis! I am not making this up, dear readers. It is beyond the imagination of an ordinary human to experience what I am about to describe.

Picture this in your mind: On a road designed for pack-mule traffic, the geniuses at the municipality, many years ago, decided that the public pier should be located adjacent to a large cemetery. Got it? A large cemetery on one side of the pack-mule road, and the Caribbean Sea on the other side. When the pier was expanded to accommodate the new cruise ship traffic a few years ago, little consideration was given to two very obvious problems.

One: the residents of the cemetery refused to move to make room for the vehicular traffic that would evolve as a result of touristas with pockets full of U.S. greenback$.

Two: Filling in the harbour to make room for parking and turning around of vehicles was extremely expensive, and also counter productive, especially in light of the depth of the water there, which is the reason the public pier was put there in the first place. Big ships need deep water, no?

Yep! So try to envision 900 taxis trying to park in 300 parking spaces, with many tour buses and other forms of ground transportation jockeying for a shot at all that money coming ashore. It is somewhat like the problem of the five pounds of stuff trying to go into a four-pound bag, only much more pronounced. The overflow is extreme! So much so, that there was no room for anybody to do anything. You could not drive through, because here was not enough room for one vehicle to pass between the parked vehicles. Carumba!

The alternative route into Coxen Hole (I’m not kidding, that is the name they gave the municipality) was a fifteen mile detour, going all the way back west on the coastal road to Flowers Bay, hanging a right up over the high ridge, and then taking the old paved road into Coxen Hole. (Boy, they sure had to reach to the bottom of the barrel to come up with that name!) By the by, you can forget about driving through the business district of Coxen Hole on a cruise ship day. That is unless you have nothing better to do than waste an entire morning or afternoon parked behind a long line of taxis. (Mondays are a pain too, because all the restaurant people come in to town on Monday mornings to buy the stuff they ran out of over the weekend. Yuk!)

Now add the Semana Santos crowd into the equation and you will know the true meaning of the word, chaos.

(My mathematical skills are far too limited to express this as a mathematical equation.)

By this time you are no doubt getting the impression that things get pretty crowded here at times. But the news about a fun and interesting get-away-place traveled fast and Roatan quickly became a popular tourist destination.

It is not bad news for the island business community.

The taxi industry here is convinced that Roatan is truly paradise. Ole`

There is lots more, so stick around.

Ciao,

Louie Arriba                                                                                                                  

Coastwatcher©

Article II

Semana Santos = Holy Week

Louie Arriba

Now that I have given you the basics about our visiting tourists, I can be a little more specific about numbers of people, trying to fit on our island at one time. For reasons not known to me (or probably any other humans) the people who live on the mainland, gravitate to the Bay Islands for Holy Week. It is an annual phenomena, similar to the migration habits of the Gypsy Moth, that the landlubbers must, at any cost, go to the islands for Easter. I’m serious.

If you were to put it into an equation it would be very unwieldy, mainly due to the human factor being so unreliable; (i.e. 5 pounds of stuff goes into one 4pound bag, one time, with 20% left over, expressed as: 

(5#> 1-4#B. = - 20% <OF)

xy

As you can see, there is not enough space, thereby generating what we call, overflow. There are far too many people, and far too few goods to go around. Get the picture? 

You can never count on somebody to act like you expect, especially when you go to the deli at your local supermarket, and you find that everything that you planned on buying for your little get-together over the holidays, has already been sold, due to the massive influx of tourists. It is truly exasperating!

There I was with my long shopping list, and to my utter astonishment, the deli case was devoid of almost everything, except for some unidentifiable glob of what may have once been cheese, and standing right there, smiling like an idiot, is a lovely friend of mine with a full grocery cart, who bought all those goodies most favored by myself.

“Yesterday I thought you were very cute, but at this instant I could kill you, you ugly *@##*&%^^+_(**&^%$) so & so,” you are saying to yourself.

We did the statutory smiles and hugs, but I really felt like smashing her. Then I remembered I was invited to her Easter dinner party.

C’est la vie!

I have often asked myself and several friends, “Why” I ask, “Why don’t these shop-keepers order a lot of extra stuff, in anticipation of the massive influx of touristas we have every year during Semana Santos? They run out of everything and then we, the residents, have to wait months for that confounded boat to come in, to replenish the goods we wanted to buy in the first place, because they had not brought in enough stuff to go around in the second place?”

It is not always paradise here.

There is a lot more you should know, so stick around and I’ll give you an earful.

Ciao,

Louie Arriba

Coastwatcher ©

Article I

Mercy, Mercy, Me

Louie Arriba

Can you believe the Winter/Springtime Tourista Season is upon us? I always dread this time of year, and if it only lasted a week or so, I could probably learn to tolerate it. But five months? It didn’t always happen that way, but now that the Western Caribbean islands have been discovered, we are really in for it. Tourism I mean.

Let me back up a little here.

First: nobody every heard of the Bay Islands of Honduras, until Hurricane Mitch, which paid us a long-term visit for the last five days of October of 1998. Imagine! A category 5 hurricane that just hovered over us for five, repeat five days, with sustained winds of 140 MPH and thirty-foot seas.

Secondly: Roatan, the largest of the islands was known to SCUBA divers to some extent, but the general public, the U.S. media, the American & European tourist industries did not even know how to spell Roatan, let alone where is was.

If you look at a map of the Western hemisphere, and you can find Florida, then Cuba, then point your index finger (I think it’s more polite than using your middle finger, unless you’re giving Castro the bird) to the body of water between Cuba and the Yucatan Peninsula, the Yucatan Channel and when you see how the Central American Isthmus juts out just below Yucatan/Belize, you will see the Bay of Honduras and the three largest islands in the chain. That’s us folks, the Bay Islands, right smack dab in middle of the beautiful, blue, Western Caribbean Sea, just a short hop off the North Coast of Honduras.

Now that you know where we are, why not just drop in and say Hola, or hello. Just about two hours (+ or -) out of Miami, Houston, or New Orleans. Norwegian Cruse Lines and Princess cruise ships call on us about five times a week, in addition to several smaller independent cruise ships. So if you chose to visit us by sea, there are several choices.

I have lots more to tell you so stick around!

Ole`

      Louie Arriba

Looking for Paradise

Coastwatcher is a series contunued from the internet of a few years ago, when this weekly colunm appeared on www.roatanet.com It became so talked about among people traveling to Central America, or planning on someday living in a place they consider Paradise, that it became a book enitled "Coastwatcher  Tales of the Western Caribbean."

It is an accumulation of every day real life events, giving the reader an inside glimpse of what life is like in a place many precieve to be Paradise. We will continue these discussions on where to find your paradise with input from readers and travelers who are willing to share their secrets of where to look for your place in the sun.

You can review the books at www.booklocker.com

If you are traveling to or planning to live in the Bay Islands, there is a trilogy of e-books available that are a must read. They will prepare you for many of lifes little surprises in your third world paradise.

"How to Avoid the Pitfalls: Building Your Dream Home"

"How to Build Your Dream Home in a Third Wolrd Paridise"

"How to Survive in Third World Retirement: The Handbook"

Author's name: Pierre Renaldo